Andy Morris' Journal

Subject:	Parents are retearded
Time:	9:11 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.

I'm not entirely certain what happens when you have children, if its that your overwhelmed with concern for your bundle of public annoyance, if parents become moons orbiting the child sun turning into mindless stone lumps, perhaps babies emit a special retardation wave when they first come into the world stirking all people with similar chromasomes in a nearby area, i don't know. And i probably shouldn't blame the parents but one of the parent watchdog groups WATCH (World Against Toys Causing Harm) is making me angry.

This is their list of some of the most dangerous toys for 2007

You should take the time to look it over and after reading realize that if America's children must be protected from the toys listed: THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ANY OF US.

I only really care about a couple of the toys listed namely the magnetic rocks, spiderman sword and the Jack Sparrow spinning dagger.

As for the magnetic rocks the worry is that if a child eats a couple of them they can stick together across the walls of the intestine or other organ and kill them. Now i know this sound bad but i think if the kid is dumb enough to EAT ROCKS good riddance. I'm sorry but any parent who would provide this toy to a kid who might eat rocks has it coming.

As for the two swords, I'm fairly certain that these are just advanced Sticks. The dangers they list are impalement and eye injury. It's a Sword where's the fun in it if you can't whack you sister in the face with it this is a toy right? When i was growing up i was banned from swords and toys like it because i was also banned from playing with sticks. I was banned because i hit my brother in the eye. So regardless fo the level of advance meant sticks go in eyes if their not on fire it's where they go. Also if a toy sword needs a warning that you might stick it in your eye i believe we should also put this warning on trees, fingers, spoons, low flying birds, and contact lenses.

Honestly i really really hope to see this in the paper the day after Christmas:

NEWSFLASH:

PROVO UTAH: 3 Found Dead in Christmas Toy Disaster!

IN a local home three young children were found dead at home by their mother who was coming home from a swingers party with the local air conditioning repairman. Apparently all the children had suffered accidental deaths. The two youngest boys were found in the living room; after having accidentally blinded themselves with new toy swords the boys flailed around in their new found darkness and ran into each other and became stuck together at the navel after both having ingested magnetic rocks. The ingestion was the result of what witnesses are currently describing as a "Triple Dog Dare" scenario. It is reported that cries for help went unanswered by the eldest son, who, after having licked his Go, Diego, Go toy bath boat and been driven mad by the lead paint contained therein declared himself quote "Captain of the Sea" and after having donned a jaunty captains hat flushed himself down the drain. His current whereabouts are listed as moist.

Happy Holidays.

P.S. I urge people to contact their local senator about increasing staffing and funding for regulatory commisons other than the FCC.

Here is a mediocre BLOG piece about it, do your own research.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	I quit
Time:	4:45 pm.
Mood:	annoyed.

Well i gave it an honest go. I tried the internet. I can't do it. Theres just too much and not enough. I check my webcomics, i check my mail, and then that's it; now that Steph's around i don't really need porn anymore and that about wraps it up for the internet for me. I can't do the forum boards and shit becasue everything i do is not nearly cleverly cryptic enough for me to dig it. Le sigh. Oh well.

Also living with Steph now so that going well and i put a whole in my nose it's nice gets a nice cross breeze going in there.It's nice now that i got some better ventilation my eyeballs don't fog up nearly as much when i go outside.

Comments: Add Your Own.